A Story About Some Strangers

I realize my last few posts have been about video games and the general opinions and thoughts I have on them, but I don't really want this to be a blog dedicated to that alone. So here's a story about how strangers have changed my life.

Around a year or so ago, I was in a decently dark place - in part due to seasonal depression no doubt, but also likely due to my non-seasonal depression and chronic anxiety. 

One morning of no particular significance, I went out to my car (parked on the street) before the sun had come up, as I typically have to leave early to get to school on time. And I found what I had initially believed to have been litter left on the hood of my car. I was exhausted walking up to it, assuming I'd have to pick up someone else's careless mess. But what I found was in fact not a bag of dog poop or an empty plastic bag someone didn't bother to throw away - instead there was this, tucked under one of my windshield wipers:

An image of a bag with a note that reads "seeing your car's decor brings me so much joy. Love the stickers and sent clip things (?). Please accept this octopus dude as a gift! Stay bubaru! : ) " (bubaru being a reference to something I had on my car at the time)

An image of the octopus dude

I got in my car and fought back tears the whole way to school. It wasn't handwriting I had ever seen before, nor did I know any of my neighbors well enough to suspect it could have been someone I knew.

Someone had seen my wacky fish and eel themed car decorations, and it had brought them joy. This was a person I had likely never, to either of our knowledges at least, interacted with. And somehow, I still made their world a little bit better, just by existing. And I had something physical to show it. I hadn't decorated my car for someone else, I did it in a way that brings me joy - and by doing so, it made someone else joyful as well, even if only in a small way.

But there was no name, no number, nothing aside from the note and stuffie. No one to thank. Nothing that would let me give them recognition or a gift back. 

I genuinely think the whole thing changed my brain chemistry. For the first time, I understood that you impact the world in ways you'll probably never get to see. I'm just lucky enough to have gotten to. 

I currently have the octopus wedged safely into the corner of my dashboard, and the note in my visor. Both where I can see them, and where maybe the stranger who left them will see them too and know how important they are to me.

Tonight, I was driving home from an event, and wanted a McFlurry. I'm an adult with free will and enough money to buy myself a McFlurry, so I stoped for one on my way. I ordered the classic, Oreo McFlurry, and I pulled to the window, to which I was met with a somewhat familiar face.

This requires a bit of context - there's this white guy, absolutely covered in tattoos, who seemingly always works the late nights I stop by for a snack on my way home. I don't stop often, so I don't see him often (certainly not enough for him to ever recognize me), but I remember him every single time because he's legitimately one of the nicest people I've met. 

He always finds something to compliment (tonight it was my suit) and gives such inherently positive and chill vibes, it would be hard to forget him, in my opinion at least. He and I chatted for a bit - he told me he loved my suit, I told him I loved his tattoos, we joked, I got my McFlurry, and went home. But he made my night, hands down. Just by being a kind and positive face in a world that feels increasingly angry and cruel.

Thinking about it on the way home, there's so much similarity in the two experiences. People I'll never get to tell how much hope they've given me, and to thank them for being here, for making it this far to be a small but lasting light in my journey, and no doubt in other's. All I can do is hope they know, and hope the world is just as kind to them.

When I got home, carefully tucked the McFlurry receipt in my visor, next to the octopus note.

All this to say two things. If you remember nothing else, remember this:

    1. You matter infinitely more than you will ever know. Even if you feel you're a horrible or worthless person, I promise. I promise you just can't see the ripples you make by simply by existing, and that are other people's hope to keep going forward.

    2. There is more good in the world than it seems. We live in a time filled with a lot of anger, and an equal amount of fear. But there are still those out there who care. Who love without needing a reason to. You can't always seem them, but no matter what, they're there, persisting.

Thank you to the strangers that have shown me life is worth living, even when you don't entirely feel it. Know that I'm hoping there's a light somewhere in your life telling you the same thing.